A Poem Of Love To My Daughter
Who's More Special To Me Than She'll Ever Know
(Written by me .... to Kathy when she was 15)
carried you beneath my heart for just about a year,
A movement with no face or name, but to me you were quite dear.
And on a cold and snowy night, the labor finally came,
Such joy, such bliss, such love, that my heart could hardly contain.
I was much
too young to have a child, only sixteen you know,
I knew nothing about being a mother, so we helped each other to
Through good times, hard time, tragedies and cheers,
We came through them all, barely scarred, and then came the teenage
are you beneath my heart, where I can keep you safe,
You're exposed to life, though not alone, and there are many chafes.
And though now I keep you in my heart, in a Mother's special way,
My only way to protect you, is to go to the Lord and pray.
love you more than you'll ever know,
And though sometimes I fuss, I'm only trying to help you grow.
I wish God had provided me with a parents manual,
But I guess he did, it's called .... The Bible.
If I could
look into your heart, I wonder what I'd see,
Hopes, fears, dreams, loves, it probably would surprise me.
You're in the best years of your life and happy you should be,
You've grown into a lovely girl, THIS LIFE THAT CAME FROM ME.
following is a poem that Kathy wrote to us around the
same time that I wrote the one above.)
So you think this give you rights
To mold my life like yours
But this can never be.
I must be free
I must be me!
know I'll make mistakes
And whimper in my sleep
For all things as parents you represent
And yet ... I'm not your pet.
You cannot teach me tricks
To come at your command,
Or always lead me by the paw ... or hand.
win or fail
I alone must blaze my sometimes lonely
Sometimes hurting .. trail.
don't want you to think that all these years, from the time her
addiction started ... until now ... has been bad. It hasn't. There
were several years that she was "clean". Ironically,
during her "clean" years .... is when I learned the most
about dealing with an addict. And the truth is ..... I learned them
from her. She taught me quite a lot about addiction and how to deal
with an addict. She told me how to tell when she was in active
addiction, when to tell that she was hurting bad for drugs, things
like that. She even told me how addicts lie. How they'll do anything
.... deceive anybody ... to get their drugs. A few times, she even
told me (while she was clean), "Mom, how could you have
believed some of the things I was telling you." Believe me
folks, I learned from a master. One of her rehab counselors told me
once, "if words are coming out an addict's mouth, you can be
sure they're lies."
next poem was left in my guestbook and I found it so touching, I
wrote and asked if I
could print it here and she so graciously said
I could. It wasn't titled, but I really love it.
I'm eluding my colors and fading to black,
I've come to the cross-roads
There's no turning back.
I'm lost in this hell,
This concept of me,
This painful desire to set myself free!
What are the choices that I should have made?
Why didn't I listen
To the life that I craved?
When will I realize this was not meant to be
This withering, lifeless body of me?
How did I get here
And why did I go?
When did my laboured breaths
Become achingly slow?
Why didn't I listen
Or pretend that I see?
How can I be living ... this dying of me?
Glynnis ~ South Africa
following poem entitled "Addiction" was written especially
for me and left in my guest book by a friend named Gravy Dave.
He has a beautiful poetry site that you must visit if you love
poetry. Click on his name below the poem to visit him.
The craving for something you cannot control.
Unlearned dependence to something you feel you need.
A desire to get lost in a world you do not understand.
Day to day, hour to hour, your dependency on substance;
Will never lead to your dependence on life.
Not living reality, living disaster; not living your fullest, living lost.
The wanting to make it through a simple ordeal feels unattainable,
Unless something can carry you across the line.
The boundary of hope is shrinking with each second that ticks,
As the dependency draws you under.
Through the mind, dependence on something of lessor value,
Than the value of your hard work and striving to continue on.
Itís something that makes reality seem better,
Yet it can never be reality, only disillusion.
If addiction is what you need,
Be addictive to love, caring, friendships, nature.
Be addictive to reality, and making dreams come through.
Take the time to know who you are,
Where you are going and how to get there.
Love yourself as you are, without the substance,
That makes you who you are not.
~ GravyDave © May 2000
In loving memory of
a dear and special friend
~ Carl Aronin ~
very special memorial was made for me by LadyJ who in a very short
time ... I've grown to care for very much. She's a special lady with
a special gift. Visit her site and you'll see what I mean! This
beautiful memorial speaks for itself... I wouldn't trade it for the
Our precious Brandy left this world on July 11,
2000. I don't really know if animals go to heaven or not, but I like
to think so. I can picture Brandy romping around with the little
children in heaven and hopping up on Jesus' lap so he can tickle her
tummy. We had her for 17 wonderful years ... much longer than we
ever thought possible. She was more than a much loved pet, she was a
member of our family ... and she is terribly missed.
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