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First Name:
Carol
Email Address: spainoftoledo@buckeye-express.com
Comments:
I too am lving with a
shattered heart. My son who is 39 has been an addict since he
was 17. When we first learned of his problem, we immediately
sought help. He has been in and out of all kinds of drug rehab
programs, but to no avail. He is my middle child. Over
the years he has been in and out of jail. In 1986, when his
problem was esclating, his father dropped dead of a heart attack.
We had been married for 23 years. I was in total shock.
Within three weeks (Christmas Eve) my son had a warrant out
for my arrest for the small amount of life insurance on his
father. I don't know how, but he convinced the
prosecuter that the money was due him. That was just one
instance of what his addiction has done to our family. He
continued on using and getting into all kind of trouble. I was
always there for him. Hiring attorneys, visiting him in
jail, giving him money, thinking I was going to help him. Then
in 1995 while under the influence he robbed a bank. Now the
federal government was involved. He was sentenced to 8 years
in a federal penitentary. I thought I would die. He
was sent out of state. I always visited, wrote to him
regularly, sent him money etc. When he came home, we had a big
celebration. I really knew that this would never happen again.
He had a job waiting, a car waiting and our home to stay
in. After about a year, it started again. It was
worse this time. People shooting at him, chasing him for drug
money, stealing from everyplace in town. It ended on a below
zero night in front of my house with police everywhere. Streets
were blocked off, a car chase ensued, with him being captured.
He spent another 8 months for parole violation. Again the
visits. Always letting him know I loved and cared for him.
He came home to our house again. He had no other place
to go. Within a few weeks he got a good job. Within
three months it happened again. As I write this letter
he is waiting to be sentenced for another bank robbery. Yes
again he was high and desperate. I have had a complete
breakdown. I feel no hope left. I am a Christian and
always had a strong belief. But I feel so broken down and
empty. I have lived with the shame and sorrow that many
of you do. Since this last robbery, his mug shot was all over
the local news and in the newspaper. I can hardly face
anybody. I want to cover my face and never wake up again.
I know I need help. I have always been so strong,
but no more. I thank you for letting me put my feelings on
paper. This is the first time since this last episode that I
have felt like talking about it. So thank you again. Please
keep our family and my son in your prayers. Thank you.
A heartbroken mother
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